Co-Creative Relationships

Psychologist Susan Campbell states that couples go through many phases in their relationships, beginning with what is commonly called the “honeymoon stage” and progressing through the “power struggle” and then, if they survive that stage, entering into a desire to integrate their divisive patterns and co-create together. If you are in a relationship that has been through all these stages and now you are focused on helping each other grow and evolve, or co-facilitating a business or vocation, then you have reached the state of co-creation.

Relationships that have reached this phase do not yet fall into the category of enlightened, but they are well on their way. We will discuss enlightened relationships in the next section.

Co-creative relationships can be between soul mates, or primary, secondary or extended soul families, or occasionally between souls who do not have a deep soul connection. Contrary to what some might think, co-creative relationships are harder when the souls are more alike. Instead, the ideal co-creative couple is complementary, meaning that one person's strengths are the other’s weaknesses, and vice versa.

For example, in business, one member of a co-creative couple may be good with facts and figures, but does not see the big picture, while the other member is not so good with accounting, but has the larger vision and holds it consistently.

Ideally, co-creative partners are dedicated to helping each other heal and integrate the levels of their souls. Because they have worked through most of the power trips and karmic issues, the things that are still unresolved within each other no longer trigger reactions of anger and resentment.

For example, if she has a lot of resentment toward her mother, he may simply send love and compassion to both wife and mother-in-law, and be a neutral sounding board for them to work through their issues.

Co-creative relationships are not necessarily souls who are both consciously on a deep spiritual path. As long as they are able to conduct their business or non-business activities in a harmonious manner that complements each other and enriches the lives of those around them, they are in a successful co-creative relationship.

Of course, there are no neat dividing lines between the phases of relationship. A few issues of power struggle may occasionally surface, and the couple might take turns teaching and learning from one another, but the dominant energy is one of cooperation and joint venture. These souls usually have some degree of inner and outer stability and may choose to remain together for a long time.

If the souls are not at the same level of vibration spiritually, they will, nevertheless, support each other and accept the differences graciously. In this channel's work, he encounters numerous couples where one is clearly more evolved spiritually than the other. Sometimes the couple is in denial about what is really going on. They may be attached to each other, but not compatible, spiritually or otherwise. If this is the case, then they need to determine whether or not to continue the relationship. But in other cases, their soul lessons do not depend on being at the same level of spiritual vibration. In this case, they have come together to create something of value that does not depend on being close together spiritually.

An example of this might be two parents who contract to raise a child. They may be generally very good parents, perfect and right for what the child needs, but not very compatible spiritually. The parents may have already completed the honeymoon and power struggle phases, along with integrating the ego issues involved.

In this case, you could put the relationship into one of the “rites of passage” categories discussed in Chapter 1. In other words, the couple is fulfilling the family roles and has not yet entered into the stage of evolution where spirituality is the most important priority. Nevertheless, this would be considered a co-creative relationship.

How do you tell the difference between a co-creative relationship and one where the couple is compatible spiritually, but not co-creative?

This depends on many things. Perhaps the couple has come together simply to have a certain spiritual experience, but it quickly becomes apparent that they are not very good at co-habitation, or running a business together. In this case, they might modify the form of the relationship to allow each other the opportunity to fulfill these other roles with different people.

How do you know when to end a co-creative relationship?

This depends on how important it is to be on the same page spiritually with another human being. If you are highly evolved, then most likely you will come together co-creatively until your primary project is finished and then, if you are not compatible spiritually, you will separate and either live alone or attract someone else that is closer to your level of vibration. If you are in a co-creative relationship and you are compatible spiritually, then you are candidates for an enlightened relationship.

Excerpt from the book "Soul Integration"

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