Enlightened Relationships

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Published on 18 March, 2014, Hits: 39119

When both members of a couple are consciously aware of themselves as evolving souls and are actively seeking to heal, release and integrate soul issues, they are moving into an enlightened relationship. This does not mean such people have it easy. In fact, relationships are usually hard work, especially for those who have enough awareness to take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings.

Being aware of one's own soul evolution, and the levels of one's being, means taking responsibility for a lot of very challenging experiences. It means no longer projecting any blame onto the other person. It means listening attentively and without prejudice to exactly what is being communicated, and overcoming the barriers to communication.

Back in this channel's first book, there were diagrams illustrating the barriers to effective communication. Such barriers include the programming and conditioning of each person, distractions to their physical and psychic senses, beliefs and prejudices, assumptions, judgments and conclusions, language barriers (even if both speak the same language) and a host of other considerations.

Ultimately, enlightened couples communicate best through telepathy and intuition, but there are a lot of things in the physical world that seem to inhibit these abilities. Most couples make the mistake of assuming they know what the other person is thinking or feeling, or what he or she needs. Even souls who are highly psychic and intuitive make this mistake. It is often most difficult to tune into those with whom you have the closest connection, due to your own reactions and preconceptions based on the past times you have spent with that person.

It is a well-known fact that psychics are more accurate when they have no prior knowledge of the person being read. The intellect, which prides itself in facts and figures, can be a serious distraction to telepathic and intuitive functioning.

Enlightened relationships are based on several premises. The first is that the purpose of the relationship is to facilitate the growth and evolution of each of the partners. Second, the goal of the relationship is to be a source of joy, vitality, enrichment and inspiration for each other and the world. It is not to fix the other person, alleviate suffering, compensate for loneliness, or to fill some sort of lack.

Enlightened couples are an example for the world. The unenlightened masses, when they encounter an enlightened couple, can be greatly moved and catalyzed to go forward on their soul paths.

Enlightened couples are two whole, complete, spiritual beings. They are not “other halves” looking to complete themselves through the other person. Their purpose is to share their wholeness and completeness with each other, and to rejoice in their differences and variety of perceptions. They do not seek to make their partner more like them, but appreciate the diversity and beauty of other points of view.

Enlightened souls are accepting of the so-called “imperfect” human side of each other. They do not expect perfection in every way and manner. They are forgiving, and yet they hold themselves and their partners to realistic high standards. They are vigilant against behaviors that could undermine the relationship. They seek to heal those levels of the soul that are out of balance, fragmented, fearful, stuck in illusion or deception, or that seek to sabotage the relationship. They recognize that Who They Are can be perceived as unlimited, powerful, creative beings, and that their human “stuff” is merely a tiny aberration within the perfection of their beingness. Yet, they do not trivialize their issues or pretend they do not have things to work on. They are willing to communicate openly and honestly about their thoughts, feelings and issues.

Enlightened relationships can be symbolically represented by two interlocking circles, similar to the circles on the Olympic symbol. You have three areas in two interlocking circles. The sides that are not touching each other are the “you” and “me.” The overlapping part is the “we” or “us.” The key to a balanced relationship is to have just the right amount of “we” or “us.” If the circles overlap too much, you have a codependent, clingy, possessive, attached relationship. There are not enough healthy boundaries, not enough “you” and “me.” Everything is about the “we” or “us.” I am identified with you, and you are identified with me. We have no separate space or place to retreat within our individual selves. Such a relationship is all-consuming and unhealthy.

If the circles do not overlap enough, then you have a lack of intimacy. Everything is about “you” and “me.” There is little or no “we” or “us.” Here, the boundaries are too well defined and the individuals have put up barriers to letting each other in, probably due to unresolved pain from past relationships. If there is a lack of passion, generosity, or commitment on the part of one or both of you, then you are out of balance and need to find ways of coming closer together.

It may be necessary to “tweak” or fine tune your level of interaction periodically. There is a fine line between too much and too little overlap in your circles. Constantly monitoring the situation is important. If you feel suffocated or trapped and long to be away from your partner, then you are too close. If you feel unfulfilled, as though you are not really in a partnership, and there is a lack of passion and intimacy, then you are not close enough.

Excerpt from the book "Soul Integration" by Sal Rachele